The Mojito

There are some nights when you have certain customers that really dont fit in. In a nice lounge like the one im in now, getting the guy who rode his stolen huffy over the bridge from Anacostia and comming in after being turned down at the liquor store is quite frustrating. This unfortunately happens quite often and theres nothing really we can do about it except serve the Zombie, Hennesy, Long Island, Goose and Cranburrry or Remy, and make sure to make it strong... not that you'll get tipped either way... Well recently DonkeyCockBlock and I had one such character come in. He sat down next to a young woman who was very nice and carrying on a pleasent conversation with her friend. Well this was of course didnt stop our hero from shamelessly hitting on the girls:

HuffyLowRider: Hey gurrl, let me get you a drank
ScaredChick: Oh thats ok, thanks though
HuffyLowRider: Cmon gurrl, how you gonna turn down mah drank?! Bartenda get her a drank
on me.
DonkeyCockBlock: Alrighty what would ya like?
ScaredChick: I guess ill have a mojito, thanks very much

Well DCB goes ahead and makes the drink over next to me so we can make jokes about the situation and discuss how bad we feel for the poor girl. She finishes and then the real show begins:

DonkeyCockBlock: Here ya go, thats gonna be $14.
HuffyLowRider: FOURTEEN DOLLAS!?!? How you gonna charge me fourteen dollas like that??
DonkeyCockBlock: Sorry sir thats how much it costs.
HuffyLowRider: (Looks at the drink with complete awe) That drank has fuckin garbage in it!!
How you gonna charge me fourteen dollas for a drank with leaves and shit in it.
Who puts garbage and leaves in dranks?!?
DonkeyCockBlock: Uhhh.... (looks at me for help. I am none.) Sir thats what a mojito is, its mint
muddled with lime in there.
HuffyLowRider: Looks like garbage to me, i aint payin no fourteen dollas for no foliage drank.
ScaredChick: Its ok ill pay for it...
HuffyLowRider: Naw naw baby, i got it. (and pays)
DonkeyCockBlock: (comes over to the register with the most priceless look on her face, trying
not to be loud when talking to me) Did you see that shit? Oh. no tip. of course.
ghetto fucking..........
DonkeyWrong: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA (not subtle)

Yeah it was a fuckin riot, we laughed our asses off for a good long while after that little show. But seriously who does that? How was this person raised to act like such an uncultured barbarian? You dont want to pay premium prices for drinks, dont go to expensive places to drink. Dont know anything about good, exotic drinks? Stick to your 40s and 20/20 instead of looking like a jackass in front of a bar full of people. Want to buy a girl a "drank" with any hope of getting her in bed? Dont be a stingy little bitch and throw a huge temper-tantrum when you gotta actually pay for it.
Now im not a racist, but doing this for enough time sheds serious light on the differences in cultural behaviors. I could write a masters thesis on this stuff, I know what different culture drink (and i set up my bar differently for the different parties), I know how theyll dress, how theyll act, how theyll complain, and how much ill make. Ill tell you right now I dont like serving at college parties, but I also am not a fan of Urban night. I do really like serving for older more mature individuals and also for House/Techno parties. Its all about the money, and the people. If you dont bitch about every drink, and throw me a tip, then I will have a "bartending boner."